What if we could change the world with words?
I believe something as simple as changing the strategy of our communication could improve the way the world relates to one another.
Communication is something most of us take for granted every single day. We speak a lot. Therefore, it would seem we would be pros at it, and that is a presumption that gets us in trouble. Because we know how to talk, we feel effective with our words, but that is not necessarily the case. It requires far more thought than we may assume and also entails excellent listening skills. Listening is an art, and again, we hardly give it the importance that it deserves. Beyond that, to be sure communication is representative of one's real motive, we must follow up with the comparing of assertations to actions.
Have you ever said something to someone and later found out that they took it in a way you did not mean for them to? Did you think back on your words to find that there were viable reasons to make that wrong assumption? Perhaps you noticed that the way you said it left it open to different interpretations?
Have you ever had a discussion with someone and wondered whether they understand the meaning of the words they are using? Did you feel you could ask for clarification? If not, did you insert your assumption to their purpose?
Have you ever misconstrued someone's meaning and found later that the real thought behind their words was completely different than your understanding?
These are all common communication gaps. They happen all the time, and yet we rarely watch for the discrepancies, and unless we process every conversation thoroughly, we might never even know that they happened. This ineffective correspondence is like the old game 'Telephone' where you sit in a circle and whisper into each other's ear. By the time the last person hears the message, it is so far from the original meaning, it is laughable. Even if we come to understand this amongst the people we speak to daily, we may not realize that everyone is susceptible to wrong interpretations and while most may be innocently happening, it is also quite useful in spreading dissemination of information.
Research tells us that the more emotionally tied we are to a subject, the more we may struggle to listen to opposing views successfully. This is apparent when we watch others try to explain information that differs from their personal value system. Small inaccuracies in wording often begin to create monstrous conclusions that barely leave a fraction of the truth in their summation.
Do we pay enough attention to what we hear and weigh its legitimacy on whom we are getting the information? Do we effectively discern strict fact sharing from the spread of personal understanding? Do we research the things we are told before concreting their validity-- especially if it supports our already formed opinion?
I think the answer is a resounding, no.
What if began listening with the hope to fully understand one another before we mentally began our debate? What if speaking to explain our understandings, became the precedent over trying to outsmart one another? What if we thought of speech as the sharing of information rather than use it to spew our opposing beliefs?
I think this simple mind-shift is the key to solving all human differences. To converse to share and compare, rather than being right, we could view issues with more honesty and integrity. We would find it less threatening to research things and enjoy an influx of new information. With new understandings, we might digest our thoughts more thoroughly, test our beliefs, and choose our stances more intelligently. By removing the defensiveness that springs up when we hear conflicting views on matters, we might side-step much of the knee-jerk cognitive dissonances that currently prevent us from understanding one another and also blocks any hope of learning and growing.
Today we argue ineffectively by complicating issues with inaccurate comparisons and even purposely misconstrue one another's view-points to inflame and subjugate. The willful use of hurtful and misconstrued judgment is creating emotional reasoning and distrust, to the point, it is now a cultural habit that sullies legitimate causes and polarizes our ability to solve problems.
We begin villainizing counterintelligence before we implement any cognizant reasoning, and that is destroying our ability to logically process. Some of us cope by forcing our views onto others while others stay quiet to try and avoid confrontation, but these methods have us all walking away from one another with shared powerlessness; Some to defend ourselves against injustice and others with the fear they will lose their liberty. The inability to have a constructive conversation leaves us all with a deep-seated suspiciousness of one another.
We must ask hard questions and demand relevant answers to know the truth of our situation. This situation finds us in the position that we would rather be wrong and win an argument than admit a wrong, and elevate the standard. It's no wonder there is so much hostility between us, at this rate we can never hope to find common ground.
Defensiveness is now the go-to, and questioning is dangerous territory. Who hasn't been blasted with sarcasm or humiliated for a thought? For daring to share an idea or ask a question? This intolerance of differing beliefs and conceptions has us deaf and dumb because we are fearful of questioning or answering anything.
Speak and listen well. The choice of phrase and meaning behind our spoken words are important and necessitate much consideration with attention to detail. When we find ourselves in the same boat but at each other's throats, and in this place where everyone seems unable to come to a meeting of the minds, perhaps it is time to shed light on our failings to listen and communicate honestly with one another. With a little attention to detail, discernment of truth from opinion, and a comparing of words to actions, we just might come to see we are all guilty of some poor communication and with a bit of effort, we could understand each other a whole lot better and maybe even fix our common ship.
