An unborn child cannot decide anything for itself or take care of itself, it requires the indentured efforts of another FREE human being's body to survive, and that requirement cannot pass to any other person. We have a situation that conflicts our freedom for all ideal, and despite our ability to reason, we cannot seem to find a place to agree to disagree. So much so, that some feel compelled to implement laws to enforce their will. The word oppression is to control someone else, to enforce your will onto another, not considering their feelings. If your knee-jerk argument is for the unborn child's rights, we must be clear that a person must have an opinion to be oppressed by an opposing one. The law of our land must first protect freedom as it is the basis of our nation and the only moral commitment we all agreed to share. That freedom is permitted to only to law-abiding and sound-of-mind and extends to choices of personal religions and beliefs.
I am a thinking person, and as such, I admit that I often allow posts on Facebook to bother me far too much and I can not stop thinking about a post I saw yesterday about abortion. Questions haunt me about this person and the many others she must represent out there.
This post is by a young girl who believes she would have raised the baby of her rapist. She goes on to say that she feels justified to make others do the same, claiming that if they think they could not raise the child, they should simply put it up for adoption.
I keep asking myself questions. Did she choose this for herself, or was she coerced to believe it was her duty? Perhaps a noble sacrifice? Does she understand that her perspective and circumstances are not universal? Psychology would say that her decision, whether her own or coerced, obviously brings her some satisfaction. She is proud to assert her intention and opinion though she did not experience the consequences of that choice. Is her conviction even valid as little more than a fantasized-reality? After all, experiences often turn out to be a far cry from the idea we carry in our mind. I wonder if it is a religious thing-- and if so does she understand that a person outside of her belief system would not have that self-abdicating ego boost to help bolster their happiness with that same determination? And isn't there an undermining to the virtue when she seeks to force that imagined altruism onto others?
The science of making decisions could explain much about her assertation. We, as humans, all stack facts to support the choices we make. We do it to justify ourselves, which helps us feel effective in our lives. Knowing that about myself, however, has helped me to see it and sometimes laugh at my reaching. I think if we all had that understanding, we might come to see ourselves more clearly.
It's not that I want her to change her decision or feel ignorant. Rather, I want her to free herself. To be confident, she chose from her heart and not ideas that society may have staunchly implanted. To see clearly the things she might use to convince herself to do something, not in her best interest and not matching her values in assuring her that liberty, she automatically begins to allow others more freedom too.
I am interested to understand her judgment of women, unable to live up to her standard, as she calls them murderers. It seems she is holding others to a set of rules and standards and we often feel merited to enforce our ideals onto others when we feel subjugated-- a sort of "if I can do it then so can you." This is especially true when humans think they are upholding a greater good or higher moral standard, though it is also true when we feel powerless. Rather than try to elevate the standard of deliverance, we often try to constrain others.
These are simple errors in thinking that we all make. They are natural and normal but not always healthy. Where do they come from? Why are we prone to missing the trees in the forest?
From the moment we breathe our first breath, we begin the lessons of rightness. We are told what to believe, how to think, and we learn quickly the punishments for varying from these creeds. Those guidelines become the laws of our existence. They carve the path that we walk and are the navigators of our conscience. These orders even dictate our self-worth within our family. Evaluations of will and ability to follow the rules win us the labeling of good kids and bad kids. We, people, found a simple way to decide who is acceptable and who is not, and though it is sometimes hurtful and unfair, it is accepted.
While the laws of our land may be universal, those familial and religious personal axioms are as diverse as our population. In our quest to live up to the expectations, some decide they are failures and others excel so much that they become deeply-seated in them. These people often seek to enforce. Their beliefs are like the rulings of a court, and they find pleasure in enforcing them on everyone around them. How often do we fix labels determining people good or bad, all based on some obscure law our parent taught us was nice or acceptable? These are cultural thoughts, passed from generation to generation but written nowhere. They exist only in our heads. Imagine trying to play a game where different rules dictate everyone's actions, and no one knows why anyone is doing anything. The problem is compounded when our perception of one another is based on how well we follow those unknown rules.
In this confusion, even when we want to fix the problems of our worl,d we can end up causing more issues. We try to apply our understandings, to decipher other's behaviors, and we completely misconstrue others intentions. Further, we rarely think to consider each individual's experiences. It's not a perfect science, but if we can catch ourselves getting caught up in our programmed thinking, we can consider it. Soon we find ourselves listening for the ideas that vary from the ones already seeded in our minds and comparing them to our own. This opens us up to hearing with our hearts and helps us to understand one another better. It also presents opportunities to learn and grow. We may find a treasure in another point of view or still end up dismissing their opinion, but we logically processed it and base our judgments on realness rather than jumping to conclusions.
It is difficult to stand down from your platform of rightness. Trust me, I know. When you begin to notice it, you will look around and see that we are all entrenched in our own understandings. It is much easier to allow our illusions of superiority to reign supreme and overthrow our compassion and even scarier, our logic. Atrocities happen when we lose our humanity, and historically, we see that is most prevalent when we believe we are doing whats 'right.' A great deal of self-reflection, respect for others, and selflessness are required to allow our fellow woman to live by her conviction.
I write this in hopes of softening judgments and opening conversations. Why not offer a door to understanding ourselves so that we may see a way to peace with others? Wouldn't it be a world-changer to soften peoples prejudices and bridge people and belief systems so that we might live together- and not just tolerate, but protect each other's rights and differences?
I would love to speak to this girl so I might understand her better. I believe there is much to revere in her. It appears that she is of good conscience and wants to be a kind human. There is a blind spot in her assumption and I can truly believe that she knows not what she does to others with her beliefs. The concept that people who do not believe as she does-- also do not act as she does, nor hold in esteem all the same virtues that she does, probably never crossed her mind. Yet, these are the things that make carrying a rapists child achievable for her. While her family and friends might find her actions enviable and saintly, the people around another girl could belittle her for that same decision and think her ignorant. It is all in the way we see the world.
We must, for the sake of individuality, humanity, and freedom, use our unbiased logic to understand our fellow woman and out of our own humility come the wisdom to grant her the right to have an abortion.
