For the most part, I find my life very challenging and rewarding. I find myself filled with love and contentment. On the other hand, there is the struggle to maintain order and to always do what is best for my children- after all; they are my life's work and the task I have chosen for my life. Children are an investment in the future and a massive venture that must be well tended and greatly loved, right?
We are told that it is not about what makes them happy... it is about helping them to grow and develop into productive citizens. To learn to be compassionate, intelligent, successful, stable, and self-sufficient adults someday. Happy is only a bonus when it comes along. It is never to be expected although it is the only thing that gives us strength to keep on going.
I do believe that parenting is no small task and of the utmost importance. I understand and feel my responsibility in this occupation, I have chosen. The responsibility is to the world greater than the children I am raising or me. It is to society at large because these kids will be set out in this world to reap the rewards and suffer the follies that their journeys introduce to them. Have I given them the tools they need to navigate this life? Is that my even my job?
I no longer think so.
The real question is, have I honed their skills at finding solutions? Have I fortified them with confidence to make life choices and enough backbone to take responsibility for their actions? Have I given them an example of loving life and chasing my dreams so that they will feel empowered to thrive in their lives and goals?
Each day is another day of decisions I have to make- like a game of chess; I am pondering each move and its possible repercussions and logistics. I grasp for answers as to whether I am doing any of this right. Will the lessons I try to teach empower or degrade my children?
Then the answer came one day. Your children are not listening to you. Teaching them by telling them a lot of rules and regulations is not working for anyone.
We are here to lead, not to teach.
Live as you would have your children live.
Do I live and act in a healthy and comforting way? Do I have self-respect and strength? Am I self-reliant or do I lessen my goals and allow myself to neglect my future. Have I given up on my dreams? Have I taught them to fail by not expecting myself to succeed? Should I tell myself to try again or it's okay if your not able to do that- you'll find something else to master?
Parenting is a tricky and delicate balance. It is a confounding adventure many times that leaves you questioning your decisions and praying for guidance. There is so much riding on our efforts.
If only we all took our responsibility so seriously. If only we saw the big picture and kept the correct perspective in mind during our days. How different the world might be if we stopped expecting more of our children than we ever expected of ourselves.
This post is for the Mom's out there. The happy moms, sad moms, good moms, bad moms. Whoever you are and however you feel about yourself. You came to have children- it is your call how this child will turn out. It is your every word and thought that guides this person and teaches them who they are to be. You must make sure that whatever your circumstances and however it is to be- your child is taught their worth in his life. This child must be able to make it in this wide world and if you do not have it in you to give yourself your all how will you ever give your child that chance? The greatest sin that I know in this world is the wasting away of life; mind, body, or soul. Do not take innocence and light and kill it with your lack of love and discipline to your life.
Yes, parenting is hard, challenging, and sometimes seems not very rewarding in the short run. It is the long term and the lifelong investment that pays out. If we are successful in our venture, we all come through with lessons and beautiful memories. We must be willing to stay the entire course and learn as we go along.
I am vested in this position. I am here for the long haul. I consciously brought these children into my life. I longed for and loved each one. I am awake and accountable for this life I am living and while I am a wreck of a person I am always working to better myself. I am learning and growing right alongside these beautiful people, and I am so proud of our handiwork. I feel satisfied enough that I am compelled to continue my work.
Please consider your living example before you begin the parenting quest today. Your life is a commitment to show your children how to live. The example of our life is rivaled by none for teaching. This work is not for the faint of heart. It takes a strong passion for succeeding. Be aware your ability to make happiness will determine your children's as well.
Children are a privilege to raise and a commitment of our entire life and being. Capacity to procreate is not a license to do so, and it is imperative to us all that we see it as the huge decision and responsibility that it is. For every birth of a child there is a new soul at stake. are you ready to dedicate making the best of every single day to such a fragile and precious wonder of this world?
